Talking about sexuality to your child
Answering questions related to sexuality, correctly
Here are tips to help you answer the questions your children ask you and accompany them throughout their journey of discoveries:
Teach your children the correct words: “Penis”, “uvula” and “vagina” instead of “wee wee”, “willie” and “coochie”, etc. Do it as you name other parts of their body: eyes, nose, mouth, bellybutton, penis, etc., without insisting on the genitals more than other parts. If you don’t talk about sexuality or if you don’t use the appropriate words to describe them, it would indicate the presence of a certain discomfort.
Look at things from his point of view
Before explaining, reacting or even judging your child’s sexual behavior, try to detach yourself from the adult point of view and look at things through the eyes of your little one. For adults, sexuality is linked to the search for pleasure, an expression of seduction and the desire to have children, while for children, it’s just about curiosity and exploration.
Set an atmosphere of communication and trust
When your child asks you where babies come from or when he notices the difference between his genitals and others’, you can begin talking to them about sexuality. Avoid asking him questions such as: “Where did you hear that from?” so he wouldn’t think that you are shocked.
Give him correct information, appropriate for his age
When your child asks you about sexuality, ask him a few questions before answering, such as: “What do you think? What do you know about it?” That way you can evaluate the level of his knowledge and the vocabulary he uses to then adjust the information according to what he knows and to what he seems to want to know.
Where do kids come from?
If you are uncomfortable talking about sexuality, borrow a book about this subject from the library or tell your child that you need time to think about that question and would answer him later.
Don’t dive into an anatomy lesson. Just explain that mom and dad love each other very much and dad puts a little seed in mom’s tummy and if that seed mixes with mum’s little seed (or egg), that produces a baby.
The matter of knowing how the grain is put inside the mother does not generally interest the children before the age of 8 or 9, but if your child asks, you can say that it’s through dad’s penis, without having to go any further.
The important thing is for your child to establish a link between love and the desire of a man and a woman to come closer to each other, and the sexual relation. Other details will be added gradually through the years.
Warning children from molestation
It’s important to discuss the risks of molestation with your children to warn them. You should know that most cases of molestation are committed by people that your child already knows and warning them is your own responsibility.
Here are a few questions to help you start a discussion related to molestation.
What would you do if:
– You lost us in a crowd
– The neighbor came to fetch you from kindergarten without mom and dad warning you ahead of time.
– The person babysitting you told:” You can go to bed later if you let me see you naked…”?
– Somebody wanted to share a secret with you and asked you not to tell mom and dad?
– A “friendly” neighbor asked you to help them look for their cat?
– An older child asked to touch you?
– An adult asked to take pictures of you when you’re naked?
– An adult wanted to show you pictures of naked people?